HurtMeHealMe Page 12

  Caitlin couldn’t believe she was lying there with Paul inside her and they were laughing. It was so far outside the realm of her experience. Sex for her had always been so serious and associated with agony and tears, not happiness and laughter. Not once had there been laughter.

  Their laughter caused unusual sensations where they were joined together. And as the sound slowly faded, the evidence of those sensations was apparent in the rapid blinking of eyes and the heavy, shuddering breaths they took. Suddenly Paul groaned and, leaning forward, started moving with purpose.

  Paul took Caitlin to the peak, where she hovered, waiting, hoping, straining for the free fall that would take her over the edge.

  But it never came.

  Caitlin wanted to scream out her frustration. But this time, strangely, as much as she wanted to come for herself, for the long-awaited release it would bring her, suddenly she realized she also wanted to come for him. She wanted to give that to him. She knew it would make him happy and please him. And not being able to come for this wonderful man made her feel truly wretched.

  She internalized her anguish, not wanting Paul to hear her crying and begging for release. Tears filled her eyes and she gritted her teeth, struggling to keep them at bay.

  Caitlin felt Paul pull out of her and she wondered what he would try next. Would it be another spanking or something more serious?

  Paul pulled her up so they were both kneeling on the bed and he enclosed her within his strong embrace. He stroked her hair and whispered in her ear. “Don’t worry, my baby girl. We’ll figure this out.” He caressed down her back to the top of her buttocks, and his hand rested there, pulling her firmly up against him. She tightened her arms around him in response. Even with the agony that was her aching, unfulfilled cunt, she loved the feeling of being so close to this man. She felt protected and safe in his arms.

  “We’d better get ready, sweetheart. You can shower here and then I’ll take you to your apartment so you can get dressed, okay?”

  Caitlin was confused. “But…” She untangled herself from Paul and moved back to look down at him. Unless she had been really out of it, she thought he hadn’t…

  And there it was. He definitely hadn’t. He was hard and large and his erection was an angry reddish hue. “But Paul, you didn’t come.”

  “I know, sweetheart, but it doesn’t matter.”

  “Why?” she whispered.

  He smiled a small smile. “You didn’t get to come either. So today we’ll be like kindred spirits, both walking around being orgasm deprived.”

  Caitlin’s face fell. “Paul, no. Why should you suffer because of me? Just because I’m so fucked up? Please let me take care of you.”

  Paul pulled Caitlin back into his embrace. He couldn’t do it. He felt like a bastard each time, getting his rocks off and in the process making her suffer. “It’s okay, baby girl, I promise. And I don’t want to hear you say that about yourself. You are not fucked up.” He placed a gentle kiss on her upturned lips and then urged her off the bed. When she turned around, looking as if she wanted to protest, he swatted her on the behind. “Now come on, let’s go get ready.”

  Ten minutes later, Paul was facing a dilemma.

  He’d stepped into the shower while Caitlin was brushing her teeth—with his toothbrush, and for some bizarre reason, that gave him pleasure. But the dilemma he was in had nothing to do with toothbrushes.

  The predicament in which he found himself was that, having just washed the shampoo out of his hair, he’d opened his eyes to find Caitlin in front of him—on her knees.

  God. Damn.

  And she made such a tantalizing picture.

  Her skin and hair was misted with glistening beads of water from the spray. Heavier droplets trickled down her body and he tracked one rivulet as it slid in between her breasts.

  She looked up at him, her wide eyes, asking him the questions silently, May I suck you? May I serve you?

  He stood there dumbstruck, warring with himself…

  He shouldn’t do this. He was going to abstain for her until they figured this out.

  But fuck, he was only human.

  No, he would feel like a son of a bitch. It would feel like taking from her and not giving anything back.

  “Paul?”

  Her hands resting on her lap, she blinked away the moisture that had settled on her lashes and her tongue licked some droplets off her top lip.

  God almighty. “Yes, baby girl?”

  Her cheeks were flushed but she kept her eyes focused on his.

  “Um, I know what you said but—would you let me take care of you?” Her eyebrows drew together. “It’s just…it makes me feel so bad that you have to suffer because of me. I would really like to pleasure you. Please?”

  Oh god. Beautiful, sweet, giving, gorgeous girl. Paul took a deep breath and stepped forward. He reached down and stroked her hair. She smiled and leaned toward him. And for a guy who took pride in his control, he felt he was going to embarrass himself like an inexperienced teenager.

  But instead of doing what he thought she was going to do, Caitlin rubbed her smooth cheek lovingly up and down along the length of his cock. She switched to her other cheek and then her nose traveled over his flesh, breathing deeply of his scent. She rubbed his cock over her closed eyelids, ran it over the seam of her closed lips. It felt as if she were worshipping him. Worshipping his cock.

  He fucking loved it.

  Paul struggled not to hold her head and plunge his cock deep into her succulent mouth. He was intrigued by her actions, wanting to know what she was going to do next.

  He closed his eyes and shuddered when he felt her tongue flick lightly over his balls. She kissed and lavished attention on them. When she took one into her mouth, he groaned and put his hand out to steady himself against the glass wall of the shower enclosure. When she’d finished kissing and licking every inch of his sensitive skin, she took her mouth away.

  Paul’s eyes opened to see her watching him from beneath her lashes, the corners of her mouth tilted slightly. This time when she lowered her head, her mouth hovered so close to him, not touching, but he could feel her warm breath washing over his inflamed flesh. A long, slow lick along his slit, tasting the bead of pre-cum that glistened there, and then, oh god, her hot, luscious little mouth wrapped around his dick. And she kissed him fervidly, mouth, lips, tongue—just the tip of him, until he thought he was going to die.

  When she took him to the back of her throat, she moaned around his cock and he felt the humming vibrate up his shaft and into his balls. It sizzled up his spine to the base of his skull. Everything in him tightened. Jesus, he couldn’t take it anymore.

  Fisting her hair, he pushed his cock into her throat. She opened for him, taking him deep.

  “Fuck, Caitlin!”

  He drove in and out of her, sliding back and forth against her hot, wet tongue.

  Her sounds of pleasure, mingled with his, bouncing off the shower walls, drove him even higher. He closed his eyes and, gripping the back of her neck, thrust once, twice, three times, hard and deep. She made a gagging sound as his whole body stiffened and he came violently, his cum spurting down the back of her throat.

  She swallowed reflexively, closing tightly around his cock, and he swayed on trembling legs and thought he would pass out. She swallowed his cum and when he pulled his spent cock out of her mouth, she gently and thoroughly licked it clean with her tongue.

  Paul sank to his knees then sat his ass down on the tile and pulled Caitlin into his lap.

  He was fucking speechless.

  Caitlin was cradled in Paul’s arms. She adored being there, wrapped in the embrace of this beautiful, sexy man. He held her close and stroked her back, her ass and the length of her legs. He pulled her closer and kissed her with hot, reverent kisses that left her breathless, her head spinning and her pussy aching for him.

  He kissed her and touched her, as if he couldn’t get enough. He buried his face in her hair and murmured;
some things she could make out, others were just the deep, honeyed rumble of his voice. But it didn’t matter. She knew he was happy, that he’d loved what she’d done for him. And she had loved it. God, how she’d loved it. So much so, she thought it might be something she could become addicted to.

  For her, the act had always been something she’d had to endure. Sometimes it would almost paralyze her with fear. Often Ivan would make her fight for air, filling her throat and covering her nose and only letting go when he decided she could draw breath. He would fuck her mouth so savagely, hurting the vulnerable tissue in the back of her throat so that she had to fight with herself not to run away, to stay where she was and remain open for his brutal assault.

  But after last night, she had known it would be different with Paul. Surprisingly, she had yearned to do it for him, to fill her mouth with him, have him release on her tongue, to taste him. And the feeling of loving his cock, exploring his body at her own pace, making love to him with her mouth, making him moan and tremble and then lose control the way he did—it was empowering. And arousing. It made her so crazy for him that at that moment, she just wanted to climb him like a tree.

  Instead, she forced herself to relax into his embrace, cuddling against his chest. She smiled as he stroked her body and whispered things in her ear. This is what she had been missing out on all her life. What she had begun to crave after going to the club that night and seeing a Dom worshipping his sub. And she had found it with this man. She trusted him and believed in him when he said they’d figure out the rest of the stuff.

  She pressed a kiss against his chest and, running her fingers through the deep-golden hair there, she whispered how she felt about what she’d done to him. He squeezed her tighter while she confessed, and kissed her harder when she was done.

  * * * * *

  By Monday evening, Paul had a plan. He’d spent most of the day doing a whole lot of nonproductive paper shuffling while he thought about Caitlin. He thought about how he would deal with their problem of her needing the type of pain he couldn’t bring himself to give her. He also spent a great deal of time remembering the feel of being inside her, fucking her, holding her, of having her on her knees, worshipping his cock.

  He sat across from her now, contemplating how blue his balls were going to get during the execution of his plan—which had seemed like a good idea at its inception.

  The plan being that they would spend time talking and learning more about each other. He would work with her so that she responded to his commands and he would earn her complete trust, until one day she would come just because he fucking told her to.

  And the other part of the plan was that for the moment, they would abstain. From having sex.

  As she finished her dessert, Caitlin innocently licked a glob of chocolate ice cream off her spoon and Paul’s cock stood up and paid attention.

  Yeah, fucking great plan. This shit is gonna kill me.

  He’d had just a taste of her. One night and a little bit of heaven in the shower the following morning. And now he had to tuck it back in and wait.

  Maybe he should rethink the plan. Just looking into Caitlin’s sad eyes when he informed her there would be no sex for a while made him want to drag her onto the tabletop and fuck her senseless. But then he’d have to put her through what she’d suffered last time and he couldn’t do that to her again.

  He had to admit, he was a bit of a fan of orgasm deprivation. He’d done it to subs before, but only over the course of one or maybe two days. Listening to Caitlin suffering because she hadn’t come once in eight long months was excruciating. He had never heard sounds like those she’d made. They were like daggers twisting in his heart. He would never forget those sounds as long as he lived.

  No, he would stick with the plan. He could do this. He was always the one in control, damn it. He would stay focused and take her where she needed to be. And then, when she was ready, he would fall on her like a beast and ravage her. For the next fifty years.

  Yeah, fifty to life—the sweetest damn sentence anyone ever served.

  Do not fuck this up.

  Caitlin put down her spoon and turned her attention away from her ice cream. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  His brain had a little what-the-fuck moment. Had he said something out loud, or had she read his mind when he’d thought of ravaging her like the beast he was when she was ready? “What?” he sputtered.

  “You said when we finished dinner, you’d tell me what expectations you have of me.”

  “Oh yes. Right.” He pushed his dessert bowl to the side of the table.

  He looked at Caitlin and she was looking back at him with wide eyes that were burning with curiosity and more than a little anxiety.

  She had been through this before, being told what her dominant lover expected of her. And the last time, as an innocent girl, hearing the things that sadistic bastard would have told her must have frightened her half to death. Fear of the unknown was probably making her anxious now. He would just get it over with quickly and painlessly and he was sure the anxiety would be gone from those eyes by the time he finished. He hoped he could replace it with anticipation.

  “Now, Caitlin, like I’ve mentioned, I want to control you sexually. So I call the shots in the bedroom—or anywhere else I choose to get busy with you.”

  The corners of Caitlin’s mouth turned up. Paul thought that was a good sign.

  “And like I said before, I’m not a twenty-four-seven Master. I don’t want you to call me Master. I don’t want you to be a slave. You will not have to prostrate yourself at my feet and lick my boots.” Paul smirked. “However, I may ask you to drop to your knees and lick—other things.”

  Caitlin smiled shyly and a pretty pink blush spread across her cheeks, probably remembering her ambush of him in the shower that morning.

  He had a little flashback of being in her hot, wet mouth, and his cock jerked in his pants. Paul cleared his throat and tried to sound authoritative instead of just plain horny.

  “I will make demands of you, Caitlin, and I will expect you to follow them.” His voice came out a bit harsher than he’d intended and Caitlin immediately dropped her head and stared at the table, probably reacting to his tone or his words, or a combination of both.

  He placed his finger under her chin and tilted her head up. “I know you’ve been trained to bow your head and avert your eyes, but sweetheart, you’re going to have to unlearn that behavior. I want you to look at me. I always want to see what’s going on with you.” He traced his fingertip along the high arch of her eyebrow. “And with these expressive eyes of yours, I only have to take one look to know exactly how you’re feeling.”

  She smiled a small, self-depreciating smile. And he guessed she wasn’t too happy about the fact that she was such an open book.

  “Another requirement I have is that you will be naked when you’re at home—both my home and yours. I want to look at you and have unfettered access to you. I will also take you when—and where and how—I want to.”

  His cock jerked again as he imagined coming home from work and taking this beautiful, naked girl right there on the floor by the front door. He wondered how he was going to get through this without coming in his fucking pants. Maybe he should have just printed this out and had her read it. Fuck.

  He continued and wondered if she noticed the slight tremble in his voice. “I will tie you up, sometimes in very intricate, time-consuming bondage. I will suspend you from things. I will play with and tease and torment your bound and helpless body.”

  Caitlin’s blew out a ragged breath and blinked furiously.

  Good. Very, extremely good.

  “I will spank you with my hand, and with things like a belt, crop and flogger. I will enjoy seeing your ass glowing pink and red and bearing my marks. I will use erotic pain to increase your pleasure—and mine, but I will never hit you so viciously that I break your skin. I will never make you bleed. I will not harm you or abuse you. You will have a safe word
you can use if things become too much and you should never, ever be afraid to use it. I’ll stop immediately and we’ll talk, and there will be no anger or disappointment on my part that a session was interrupted. We’ll address the problem and move on. What’s your safe word, Caitlin?”

  “Um, I’ve never had one.”

  Holy fucking shit. She’d been whipped with a six-foot bullwhip until her skin split and she’d never had a way to make it stop. Fuck. Paul’s gut got churny. He swallowed and tried to stay calm.

  He reached out, taking her hand that was worrying the tablecloth and held it in his. It was probably more to comfort himself, he realized.

  “Okay, we’ll decide on a safe word later.” He took another deep breath and continued. “I will use toys on you—vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, nipple clamps. At times I’ll ask you to wear certain toys when we’re out in public.”

  Caitlin’s eyes opened wider.

  He squeezed her hand. “But I will never humiliate you in public. Only you and I will know that under your trench coat, you’re wearing a plug in your ass, a vibrator in your cunt, a chastity belt covering both and a pair of thigh-high stockings.” He paused. “And nothing else.”

  Caitlin’s breath ratcheted up again.

  Yes, fucking excellent.

  “I will not punish you unless it’s part of a role-play. So you don’t have to worry that if you spill your wine at the dinner table, I’m going to smack your ass for it. That’s not my style.” Paul could feel the evil grin coming on. “However, when I’m the teacher and you’re my naughty little schoolgirl, I will spank your ass and fuck you mercilessly to punish you for not doing your homework.”

  Caitlin’s eyes were a little glazed and she was panting. Paul wanted to shout out, he was so fucking happy with her responses to everything he was telling her. He had previously questioned her in-depth about her experiences and he knew from what she’d told him that a lot of this stuff was new to her. Going out in public with toys inside her, intricate rope bondage and suspension, role-play, all of it. God, he couldn’t wait.